dadadadio ([info]dadadadio) wrote in [info]baseball,
2009-05-07 19:45:00
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MLB's All-Steroid Team

I was thinking about all the players implicated in the running steroid saga. As the names crossed my mind, I realized you could build a nice team of cheaters.

1....Starting Pitchers......Roger Clemens - Andy Pettite - Felix Heredia -

2....Catcher......

3....1st Base.....Jason Giambi

4....2nd base....Chuck Knoblauch

5....3rd base....Alex Rodriguez

6....Shortstop....Miguel Tejada

7....Left Field....Manny Ramirez

8....Center Field....Mike Cameron

9....Right Field....Barry Bonds

 

Bullpen....Brendan Donnelly - J.C. Romero -

Closer....Eric Gagne

 

On the bench 

Sammy Sosa
Mark McGuire
Jose Canseco
Gary Sheffield
Rafael Palmeiro 

This is off the top of my head. I know I'm forgetting some big names. I need some help filling out the roster.

I need a good catcher (plus a backup) and two more starting pitchers. The All-Steroid team needs a few more relief pitchers and some middle infielders to fill the bench. I bet someone could come up with a better second baseman than Knoblauch.

Any suggestions?  Would you make changes to my lineup?
 
I imagine a syringe would be a nice logo to put on our caps.


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  • 66 comments

[info]phatmatt

May 8 2009, 03:02:23 UTC 3 years ago

I don't believe Cameron's was actually a "steroid". I could be wrong. It was an illegal substance, though.

[info]hesaiddestroy

May 8 2009, 03:08:53 UTC 3 years ago

It was a banned amphetamine (I'm sure all amphetamines are).

But, it's like all facial tissues being called Kleenex. All PED = Steroids, to most.

[info]dadadadio

3 years ago

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[info]thepandamancan

May 8 2009, 03:06:30 UTC 3 years ago

Mike Piazza? Maybe Pudge since he was around the Rangers at that time.

Here's another good one...Paul LoDuca

[info]dadadadio

May 8 2009, 03:51:15 UTC 3 years ago

I can't believe I forgot Piazza. Perfect. LoDuca can be Mike's backup.

[info]imjudyb

3 years ago

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[info]hesaiddestroy

May 8 2009, 03:07:39 UTC 3 years ago

Well, it'd more accurately be the all-PED team, as:

-Gagne actually took HGH, not steroids
-Cameron was actually suspended not for steroids, but for a banned amphetamine.
-Romero was suspended for taking illegal Flinstone Vitamins, or whatever the hell he took.

As for catcher, the only one I can think of is Brewers top catching prospect Angel Salome.

[info]gjenkins05

May 8 2009, 03:20:56 UTC 3 years ago

RP:

Derrick Turnbow tested positive in 2003, but was not sanctioned by MLB (just the IOC).

[info]dadadadio

May 8 2009, 04:01:41 UTC 3 years ago

Re: RP:

I just checked. He was the very first player to test positive. Nice trivia question some day.

Turnbow was 17-16 in his short career. I'll pencil him in as my #5 starter unless someone better comes along.

[info]imjudyb

3 years ago

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[info]dadadadio

3 years ago

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[info]freckles42

May 8 2009, 03:26:09 UTC 3 years ago

Call them "The Juicers"

And maybe have a syringe stuck into an orange (that's how medical professionals learn to administer shots, as a side note).

[info]dadadadio

May 8 2009, 03:49:58 UTC 3 years ago

I like it. The Juicers is a good nickname and the logo works.

We can play our home games at Tropicana Field.

[info]hotclaws

3 years ago

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[info]dadadadio

3 years ago

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[info]imburningstariv

May 8 2009, 03:30:35 UTC 3 years ago

LoDuca's your catcher. Piazza is innocent until proven guilty.

[info]dadadadio

May 8 2009, 03:55:40 UTC 3 years ago

If the 'innocent until proven guilty' standard is used, this roster will be very sparce. Most of the players implicated would never be found guilty in a court of law.

I'm using the court of public opinion. Innuendo, hearsay, and circumstantial evidence is admissible. It's concrete in my court.

Piazza is my starting catcher.

[info]dj_underdog

May 8 2009, 03:51:47 UTC 3 years ago

I thought there was a lot of suspicion around Pudge.

And the logo can just be the Yankees logo. It's pretty much the same thing at this point.

[info]dadadadio

May 8 2009, 03:56:48 UTC 3 years ago

LOL on the NY logo. I noticed the large Bronx contingent but decided to let someone else point it out first.

[info]adalberg

3 years ago

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[info]dadadadio

3 years ago

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[info]flashfire

3 years ago

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[info]adalberg

3 years ago

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[info]dadadadio

May 8 2009, 05:34:27 UTC 3 years ago

Updated Roster

This is my updated All-Steroid-Stars roster.............a.k.a.......the ASS Juicers

I wanted to post this thinking the east coasters might be able to fill out some vacant positions before I awake the A.M.

We have a 22 man roster so far. I still need at least a #4 starting pitcher and a couple of middle infielders to work off the bench. I have to keep A-Rod at third because I have no other 3B. I also need some help in the bullpen.


1....Starting Pitchers......Roger Clemens - Andy Pettite - Felix Heredia - ???????? - Derrick Turnbow
2....Catcher......Mike Piazza
3....1st Base.....Jason Giambi
4....2nd base....Chuck Knoblauch
5....3rd base....Alex Rodriguez
6....Shortstop....Miguel Tejada
7....Left Field....Manny Ramirez
8....Center Field....Mike Cameron
9....Right Field....Barry Bonds

Bullpen....Brendan Donnelly - J.C. Romero -
Closer....Eric Gagne

On the bench

Sammy Sosa - OF
Mark McGuire - 1B


Jose Canseco - OF

Gary Sheffield - OF

Rafael Palmeiro - 1B

Paul LoDuca - C

Rafael Palmeiro won't get much playing time if he doesn't stop wagging his finger at me saying, "I never took Steriods". Who does he think we are, Congress? "STFU Raffy, go take some BP."

[info]wends

May 8 2009, 10:18:10 UTC 3 years ago

Re: Updated Roster

ASS Juicers, omg hahahahahahahahahahaha

[info]mfbob

May 8 2009, 06:46:09 UTC 3 years ago

Sosa has never failed a drug test, been implicated in any investigation (and Mitchell definitely investigated him), nor has he been turned in by an ex-teammate or trainer. Not to say there isn't reasonable suspicion that he did steroids (there is), but his trail is clean compared to all the other players here. He doesn't belong on this team. At this point, he deserves the benefit of the doubt.

Ryan Franklin should be in the pen. He got a 10-game steroids suspension in 2005. He's pitching great as the current Cardinals closer.

[info]dadadadio

May 8 2009, 14:02:27 UTC 3 years ago

Franklin is in and I'm looking into you're clearing of Sosa. Maybe I got it wrong but this was definitely a 'homer' observation. You defend a Cub and give up a Cardinal. It's all good.

[info]mfbob

3 years ago

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[info]smartyr

3 years ago

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[info]imjudyb

May 8 2009, 07:18:32 UTC 3 years ago

I suppose the best way to fill out your roster would be to just ask canseco - because damn, he's been right so far.

[info]ravensbliss

May 8 2009, 07:41:31 UTC 3 years ago

Varitek.

[info]jmac55

May 10 2009, 09:06:20 UTC 3 years ago

You're an idiot. You're giving the world even more justification in hating Yankee fans.

[info]ravensbliss

3 years ago

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[info]jmac55

3 years ago

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[info]ravensbliss

3 years ago

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[info]jmac55

3 years ago

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[info]ravensbliss

3 years ago

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[info]jmac55

3 years ago

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[info]ravensbliss

3 years ago

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[info]dadadadio

3 years ago

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[info]jmac55

3 years ago

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[info]ravensbliss

3 years ago

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[info]jmac55

3 years ago

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[info]ravensbliss

3 years ago

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[info]jmac55

3 years ago

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[info]ravensbliss

3 years ago

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[info]jmac55

3 years ago

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[info]ravensbliss

3 years ago

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[info]jmac55

3 years ago

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[info]ravensbliss

3 years ago

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[info]dadadadio

3 years ago

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[info]jmac55

3 years ago

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[info]vix

May 8 2009, 11:17:51 UTC 3 years ago

I like the idea of Sheffield sitting on the bench... for the entire game. For all games.

[info]durandal_1707

May 8 2009, 14:02:09 UTC 3 years ago

Are we counting HGH in the mix? Paul Byrd would like in on the starting rotation.

[info]dadadadio

May 8 2009, 14:04:05 UTC 3 years ago

I was thinking of Byrd, He would fit in the #5 spot. I was also considering Kevin Brown, but he's such an asshole i don't know if I can manage him. I already have Roger to deal with.

[info]hallwayjulie

May 8 2009, 14:14:06 UTC 3 years ago

Second baseman - Brian Roberts

[info]dadadadio

May 8 2009, 14:25:25 UTC 3 years ago

That's another one I should have recalled. He's definitely in.

[info]bambino_lives

May 8 2009, 17:17:39 UTC 3 years ago

Nomah!

[info]wesaucereyes

May 10 2009, 23:27:39 UTC 3 years ago

I'm not going to lie, I would be more shocked it it turns out Nomar wasn't on PED's at any point of his career.

[info]portia

May 8 2009, 19:41:40 UTC 3 years ago

Rafael Betancourt can be in the bullpen. He got busted for steroids a few years ago.

[info]mozartzbitch

May 8 2009, 20:14:04 UTC 3 years ago

You didn't put down Ivan Rodriquez for catcher

[info]dadadadio

May 8 2009, 21:35:44 UTC 3 years ago

There appears to be some disagreement over who's been outed as a PED violator, and what players are victims of hearsay. These links are a little helpful. The first os more comprehensive. The later is only Mitchell Report players but the link is kind of cool, but limited, and since it's from the New York Times.....it must be true.

http://thesteroidera.blogspot.com/2006/08/list-of-steroid-hgh-users-in-baseball.html

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2007/12/13/sports/20071213_MITCHELL_FEATURE.html#

I have plans to hit the pub in about 30 minutes. I'll update the roster and release ASS Juicers Version 3.0 later tonight.

[info]tigtogiba34

May 9 2009, 04:55:20 UTC 3 years ago

Jason Grimsley
Rick Ankiel
Troy Glaus


this post was both sad and amusing all at the same time, good work ♥

[info]dadadadio

May 9 2009, 16:20:20 UTC 3 years ago

The reason I started this was to make it less depressing and a little amusing. The whole PED issue just drags me down. I thought this was a good way to talk about it and not be pissed off.

[info]dadadadio

May 9 2009, 16:16:49 UTC 3 years ago

Sosa is off the team. It's got nothing to do with being drug free. The son-of-a-bitch is using corked bats, in batting practice!

Brian Roberts takes the starting job at 2B. I cut Knoblauch, he's a weak defender. Fernado Vina won two gold gloves on the juice. Have you seen him on ESPN? He's pumped up.

I hired Brian McNamee and Kirk Radomski to work on my training staff since they already know half the players.

Pete Rose called, he wants in. "I don't do drugs but if you're letting these tweaker low-lifes play, I should at least be an assistant coach." I'm thinking Charlie Hussle would be a good 3rd base coach. He'll send every one home hoping for a play at the plate.



ASS Juicers Roster / Version 3.0


1....Starting Pitchers......Roger Clemens - Andy Pettite - Felix Heredia - Kevin Brown - Paul Byrd
2....Catcher......Mike Piazza
3....1st Base.....Jason Giambi
4....2nd base....Brian Roberts
5....3rd base....Alex Rodriguez
6....Shortstop....Miguel Tejada
7....Left Field....Manny Ramirez
8....Center Field....Mike Cameron
9....Right Field....Barry Bonds

Bullpen....Brendan Donnelly - J.C. Romero - Derrick Turnbow - Eric Gagne - Ryan Franklin - Rafael Bettancourt


On the bench

Mark McGuire - 1B
Fernando Vina - 2B
Jose Canseco - OF
Gary Sheffield - OF
Rafael Palmeiro - 1B
Ivan Rodriguez - C
Paul Lo Duca - C

I finally got Sheffield to calm down by promising some playing time. "The first time Bonds claims this is a racist witch hunt you can take his spot in RF."



At the moment we have a full squad but THE LEFT SIDE OF THE INFIELD IS WEAK. WE ONLY HAVE ONE SS AND ONE 3B. At the same time, we have three 1B. I may have to cut one.

[info]outkastforever

May 10 2009, 01:44:42 UTC 3 years ago

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